Well this was an eventful day. Started with waking up late and eating a simple bowl of cereal not expecting anything that did happen, to happen. School was school, and nothing special at all (as usual). Work was work, simplistic and boring, although marijuana certainly helped pass time. The entire shift was spent texting various people making plans, and messing with my lovely lady's head whilst she was intoxicated, tripping and high. I pretended to be an alien who lived in a water faucet that needed help saving the human race from eradication. However, she could not retrive the password so that attempt failed.

After work I waddled home to change but kept the same pants on, for they were filled with unpaid for goodies from Stop&Shop. I used my brother's beat up vehicle to speed over to my girl's house where I found her hidden behind a bed counting to 400; she made it to 386 when I got there. She saved me from the water people and brought me to my rocket ship, which picked up our third angle and fellow adventure seeker. The two of us downed our medicine and headed off to the movies, unknowing of the future. On our trip shapes started shifting and the longer it lasted the more drunk I felt. Walking became a task and talking was more and more difficult. As my head moved, my vision had a slight delay and nothing was normal. All discussions played as movies in my head, and that made focusing tough, especially for the road.

We met up with our next passengers and made a stupid decision to visit the nearby McDonalds. The rocket ship was in harsh condition and I forgot to turn on my headlights. No wonder the passing cars were flashing their lights at me. I increased velocity and flew through the drive-through then found a parking spot, but the gears stuck and I switch recklessly between drive and reverse. As I came to a halt, the red and blue lights of death flashed before us.

The devil got out of his vehicle, head high and holding his waist, showing off his metal. He came to the window, but my windows don't work correctly so I was forced to open the door. He asked, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and all I could think of was how fucked I am if he suspects me of being drunk (which I was not, but I felt so). I handed over my license and found the registration beneath my sweetheart's feet, and handed that over as well. I was told to sit tight, and I did. I was in no position to talk down to an officer, again. He made his way to the cruiser and everyone was quiet. The tension grew and everyone spoke of how fucked we were, making the situation wose than it already was. I wanted to cry, but no leader can show his emotions. A true leader is calm and courageous. I held my head up and concealed my paraphernalia. After some time, the devil's head started to morph into what looked like jesus, posibly giving sings of hope. He came to the passenger window, and handed my passenger back my identification. "Sir, I'm in the Christmas spirit today." My face flushed with excitement, "I'm letting you off with a warning and I want you all to have a nice night."

I have never felt so relieved. As much as I hate the police and would do anything to eliminate them, I loved that man. "Thank you, sir, you are a great man. Have a wonderful evening!" We all described our emotions and exited our vessel. The walk to the front door was epic. All of us, half freezing to death could not express our feeling. We found ourselves in our haven, Mickey D's. Nobody wanted food, but we all needed to sit down. At this point I started going crazy. Thoughts I couldn't possibly remember now raced through and through and I put my head down. My speech was slurred and I got a case of the spins. People turned into animals walking with shoes, and on two feet. Nobody spoke English, and it sounded remarkably like Simlish, the language used in everyone's favorite PC game, The Sims.

My fellow Earthling bound for eminent failure all grew worse in their condition and tripped as hard as I did. Everything was chaos so we left before the cops showed up again to bring doom upon us. The ride home was tough, for focusing was nearly impossible. First we dropped off the kid who lived furthest, who brought us sweet sweet water to destroy "cottonmouth". There we devised a plan to get home safely, and I removed myself from the pilot's position. My good buddy took that role and took us home. I don't remember much from there but the car filled with water and breathing was getting harder and harder, but I luckily found an air pocket where I sat. We switched seat's and I took him home as well. I told him to call me so I could focus during the lonesome ride home, so death didn't become probable.

HE called me and I answered, and everything seemed a joke. As I was driving I kept talking but there was no answer. At first the worst came to mind, so I drove back to his cottage and realized I was just going insane. My phone was dead and I was talking to nobody the entire time. I stopped to take a breather, then started up the car and brought myself home. How I was going to make myself pass as "normal" per say was tough. I had to devise my own, which I said out loud, for I was talking to myself. I decided to fake sick, and as I walked through the big blue door I held my stomach and forced my eyelid's shut. "Awh I feel terrible! I need to puke!" I sprinted to the bathroom and slammed the door, and made puking noises to make it seem real. Perhaps I should be an actor?

I got out of the brightly lit facility and stumbled into bed, fully clothed. My mother approached me with what looked like a needle, but was only a thermometer. She took my temperature and I began cracking jokes, like a sober person would. I passed my first test as a normal human, but prepared for the second. BANG BANG BANG! My father busted though my door. In the background you could hear my mother saying, "leave him alone, he's fine". He persisted and came at me with red eyes. I couldn't help but stare. He forced me to breath on him, which I did willingly. He claimed my breath wreaked of "sscotch" but that was proven with my cunning and wit to be false. He then stormed off, for failing at trying to prove me as "fucked up".

Then I laid in bed, tripping on my own mind. Everything went pitch black and everything began to shake. "EARTHQUAKE!" I jumped out of bed and put on some shoes then noticed nothing was actually rumbling. I quickly hopped back into bed before anyone knew I was going insane. White dots surrounded my retinas and the bed kicked itself into drive and raced around a land of black. I remember giggling and laughing loudly for now it was time to enjoy my high while I was alone and not in danger of police, death, moving vehicles, or parents. I tried to text, but my hands were so large the Samsung Juke couldn't be handled. I gave up and closed my eyes. What a night.